There goes my plans!
2017, freshly turned 18, and I told the Lord ‘by 21, I want to be be married with a child on the way’. I'm 25, still single and no child.
But this isn’t a woe is me moment, I am not angry with God and neither is this space a conversation about waiting on God for the one. Matter of fact, this is a testimony to declare that I am thankful! Thankful because, if I had it my way, the marriage I so desired at 21, would’ve possibly ended in a divorce. I would’ve been bitter and angry, managing traumas, with nothing to show for myself, going in and out of relationships, seeking for someone to complete me. BUT GOD!
But God in His mercy, love and wisdom highlighted the following things to me:
My desire to marry young, came from external pressures and goals set by my parents and culture. Marriage and good grades, was all I knew and was told to achieve. I didn’t actually know who I was, what I wanted, or where I was going.
I had to go through the necessary steps and seasons for me to mature and develop as a person.
And once I understood, the journey of transformation, healing, learning, unlearning, and career building began. Oh, and it’s still going!
The desire (though it’s still a desire for myself one day), shifted from primarily wanting marriage, to wanting to know God. Navigating how I can be a better woman than I was yesterday, whilst unpacking the various things that make me a woman. And how those various aspects of me can be a tool of worship, service to God, His people and my community.
Isaiah 55:8-9
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”
God’s way is the best. It is wisdom. It is safety. If it had not been for God, His yes and His no, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today. Choosing and trusting God has been the best decision I have made so far and it is one that has brought us here…9D Woman.
On this journey, I have discovered that I am more than a girl that wants to marry one day. But, I am a woman who has purpose, I am a female, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a leader, I have a standard, a future, a career, a plan. There is so much to me that can and will glorify God and so do you.
Womanhood is beautiful and it is even sweeter when it’s done with God and the right people.
I want to invite you, my fellow readers, my amazing sisters, to join the journey with me. Let’s unpack, let’s learn, let’s heal, let’s become. The multifaceted woman will become all Christ has called her to be.
Love,
Tatenda Michell x
